Well, I got my car fixed. It needed a new battery, and my Grandmother was kind enough to get one for me. Expected to just pick up a cheap-o one, but she got me a good battery. 70 bucks. She's a swell lady.
So, it turns out that there was no short in the system. It was a simple switch. A switch controlling the parking lights that I never noticed after owning the car for FOUR FUCKING YEARS! Also, instead of replacing the whole terminals, i just replaced the corroded nuts and bolts. Sluggish start up, but I drove it around a bit, and huzzah! Car worked. Also, as I was checking fuses, I replaced the one that governed the cigarette lighter. It works again. Meaning I can plug shit into it again. Like rave lights. So I can rave while I drive.
So needless to say, I'm pretty psyched to not have to do all that fucking work. It's been in the 90s and fucking humid as shit all week, and the heat index has made it over a hundred. So, hopefully tomorrow I'm going to donate some plasma, and make some money to finance my trip to the great Northwoods.
Also, Here's Shellac, with "Prayer to God," which may be the best song ever: