I Always Wanted to be a Rock Star

Truth.  I've always wanted to be an awesome musician.  As a teenager I routinely pretended I was such, taking my cheap guitars and pretend playing for an pretend audience.  But I didn't put the work in until college in my guitar, but I was awesome at singing.  Singing was my thing.  My talent, my skill.  Senior year of high school, we put on a production of Les Miserables.  I was Jean Valjean.  Probably the best moment of high school, and it came like 3 months before the end.  Then again, story of my high school, but that's not what I'm talking about right now.

I became mediocre guitarist during college because I gravitated away from singing.  Smoking and screaming took their tole.  I can still belt and my voice is still decent, but the range is off and I lack the sustain I had before.  But, being a mediocre guitarist in a college of 12,000 people is a dime a fucking dozen.  But, who gives a shit? I was playing and it was a good time.  And i hooked up with some friends who were better instrumentalists than I was.  And we played together.  Kind of Post-Hardcore/Noise Rock thing.  Did a few shows, tried a disastrous recording, and called it quits because my bandmates started to graduate.  The Drummer and I started up a Sludge Metal band that played a handful of mostly basement shows to tiny crowds, he graduated, and we called it quits.  I graduated, and moved home.

So today, i was rummaging through some stuff in the wake of the mouse fiasco, and found where I put my guitar.  Not my original show guitar, which was a Jackson Dinky upgraded with EMG Humbuckers, because I snapped the neck of it during a show.  A 400 dollar guitar, bought for 200, sold for 250, even though it was broken.  This was my not as good replacement, a Dean Vendetta, but with the EMGs that I bought for the Jackson.  Ok, so I hadn't played any dedicated guitar in about a year.  Just fiddled with it sometimes.  I found my practice amp and a couple of my pedals.  And I debated selling my stuff.  But instead, I plugged in my studio headphones and played.  And it felt good.  Sounded like shit, but felt good.  Just strumming away, fucking up chords i half remember and trying to play songs I mostly forgot.  Over this weekend, I have a new mission: to find the notebook containing every lyric and riff and song idea i have ever written down.  Then, I may have to relearn them all, until I get bored.

So, I'm going to eat dinner, dick around, and then go see the new Harry Potter movie with a group of ladies.  Nerdy, I know, but there will be like 5 single females I'm going with, and ladies love that scarred up kid wizard.  Then, I shall Cry Havoc, and let slip the dogs of war.

Here's the Jesus Lizard, because my band sounded vaguely like this, and we covered this song once: