Fuck You, Congress and all of the American Fucking Government

I feel like America is on a downward spiral.  Scratch that, I know America is on a downward spiral.  Congress needs to make a decision about the debt ceiling, and doesn't, because the Tea Party is holding it hostage because they swept the last election because independent voters are the worst thing in this country.  They never know what they want, and sway shit back and forth because they make up the most impressionable and uninformed people in this entire fucking country.  All they do is vote for the opposite side every election.  And it never works.

So, Americans are facing a possible default on our crazy borrowing.  And if congress can't vote to raise the debt ceiling, we're fucked.  And not to toot our own horn, but the rest of the world may have to also deal with the consequences.  As a nation, the United States is responsible for a major part of the world economy.  And we're about to fuck it in the ass.  and I am not particularly proud of thus fact.  Our idiot voters are lied to, and made to thing that raising the debt ceiling is not a big deal. But it is.  Without it, we're fucked.  So, if any of my international bros can swing it, I may need a new country to live in.  Just need a few weeks to get my shit together.  Any takers?

So, my lady problems have dissolved, kind of.  She was just worried where we were headed.  I told her we could go as far as she wanted.  But she was worried about her upcoming move, so it won't go much farther than it has.  Except for sex.  that was totally eluded to.  Also, I'm drunk as shit right now.  And she may be passed out in my bed.  But I can't sleep.  So i'm blogging.  Terribly.  Because I'm a terrible person.  Because I'm terrified what happens next.  Because I really like her, and her moving soon sucks.  I won't say that she's the one, because that is crazy as hell, but she COULD be the one.  And I don't want to lose her, but the distance will be hard, and it's not like we're together in any real sense of boyfriend and girlfriend.  Shit.  If I tell her what I think, what happens?

Also, here's some music.  From my favorite band ever

Thunderstorms, Shitty fishing, and Bitches

Trying to stay up all day, until I go over to my grandmothers and help her with some stuff around the house. It started storming this morning, which will add to the break of the heat wave we've been experiencing here. That's nice. I like storms.

I've been in a strange mood. My dad and both my brother's are heading to Chicago for a few days, so I'll get the house to myself. I decided that I was going to clean up a it, and move some advances on a girl that I know. We've been friends for a while, she's back for a little while before she starts a teaching job. She also informed a mutual friend that she was going to enjoy herself for the time she was back. Which was a green light for my advances. All signs pointed to go, but I got inexplicably shut down when I tried to move a little more forward, past the flirty talk and make-out session. Not trying to facilitate anything complex, my read was that she was into me, and I just wanted to see where it went from there. Apparently it's going nowhere to be found. But whatever. We'll see how it pans out.

So, my cheap hobby has become infuriating due to the shift towards late summer. I have not caught any goddamn fish in the past two and a half weeks. And the last time I caught a fish, it was a goddamn freshwater Drum, colloquially known as a Sheepshead. They're considered garbage fish. I enjoy just catching fish, so anything that puts up a little fight is welcome, but the sheepshead was no real issue. The problem is that all the desirable fish have moved mid-shelf in deeper water, or are seeking heavy cover in deeper areas. And, limited to a canoe, it is difficult to find them for a few reasons: 1.) the canoe doesn't fit on top of my car, so I have to use the car my brother drives. But he drives it constantly. 2.) by this point, most of the shore fishing spots are saturated with people, most of whom get up a little earlier than me. 3.) Algae blooms. Southern Wisconsin lakes have issues with algae in summer, which can lead to beach closures and such. The algae cover comes in close to shore, pushing the fish further from shore. So without reliable boat access, I may be SOL until either my brother is off to college, or the weather cools and draws the fish closer. I even went to my go to bait, leeches, and came up empty. In an area that was supposed to be clutch. So I've been scouring DNR maps finding DNR managed land, which is public access, and allows me to do whatever I want there within regulations. Which includes fishing.

it seems that everyone enjoyed the Wu-tang/Fugazi mash-up featured on my last blog post. Which is awesome. Because both those artists are amazing. And together, they are amazing. But, I can't have consistently awesome tracks all the time, so here's something a little different. The Gun Club - "Fire Spirit." I've been listening to this album a lot recently. Forefathers of the punk blues movement. And fucking great.

And expect a more thorough, insightful post tomorrow.  I've got some stuff to rant about, but my brain is too strange to put everything together right now.

It's So Hot, My Brain Has Melted into A Puddle Reminiscent of a Cheese-Like Substance

A shit load of states have been suffering from heat advisories all week, and Wisconsin is one of them.  The only passable day was yesterday, and it was still in the upper 80s, just not as humid.  Thank god for air conditioning and nice, cool, basements.  I am not a hot weather creature.  I prefer Mid to late spring and early to mid autumn for temperatures.  Though, we had some wicked awesome thunderstorms this morning.

So, nothing really new here, except I applied at a local pizza place.  Which is disheartening, but you gotta do what you gotta do to get that dough.  Cash rules everything around me, which segues into my main point.

I'm not a big hip-hop or rap fan, but there are a few artists and eras I enjoy.  Public Enemy, Run-DMC, some Jay-Z (99 Problems), Mobb Deep, Mos Def, fucking WU-TANG, and most of the "underground" scene of Minnesota.  I posted a couple of Atmosphere songs in previous posts, Atmosphere being from Minneapolis.  Last night, I made an awesome discovery.  Doomtree, a collective of MCs from Minneapolis, including POS who has found a relatively widespread fame, recently did a mash-up album.  1st: fucking WU-TANG CLAN! Which, is the greatest rap collective of all time.  But, the instrumental choice blew me away.  Fugazi.  Which is one of my favorite bands of all time.  Which is one of the greatest bands that had their height in 1990s.  Which has hardcore luminary Ian Mackaye flexing his musical muscles and proving how punk rock can be a legitimate art form.  The band that may not have invented post-hardcore, but pushed the musical envelope to its limit.  Everyone knows Wu-Tang clan.  Add some Fugazi to that, and prepare to shit bricks.  Here's an example:




Oh yeah, and i quit cigarettes cold turkey like two weeks ago. Wasn't as hard as other times I've tried. Did slip up twice, bummed drags off of friends, but haven't bought any. So yay on that account. But, I've noticed I've been eating more, which means that I'm moving up my diet to next week. Was hoping to start it after my trip, but whatevs. Starting Monday, my new physical self begins to truly take shape
Stay clutch, homies

Congratulations, You're reading the blog of the world's biggest retard

Well, I got my car fixed.  It needed a new battery, and my Grandmother was kind enough to get one for me.  Expected to just pick up a cheap-o one, but she got me a good battery.  70 bucks.  She's a swell lady.

So, it turns out that there was no short in the system.  It was a simple switch.  A switch controlling the parking lights that I never noticed after owning the car for FOUR FUCKING YEARS!  Also, instead of replacing the whole terminals, i just replaced the corroded nuts and bolts.  Sluggish start up, but I drove it around a bit, and huzzah!  Car worked.  Also, as I was checking fuses, I replaced the one that governed the cigarette lighter.  It works again.  Meaning I can plug shit into it again.  Like rave lights. So I can rave while I drive.

So needless to say, I'm pretty psyched to not have to do all that fucking work.  It's been in the 90s and fucking humid as shit all week, and the heat index has made it over a hundred.  So, hopefully tomorrow I'm going to donate some plasma, and make some money to finance my trip to the great Northwoods.

Also, Here's Shellac, with "Prayer to God," which may be the best song ever:

As If I didn't have enough to worry about

My car decided to stop working.  Specifically the battery gets completely drained.  And a simple jump start won't solve the problem.  Because somewhere in my car is a short, that has spread and kept external lights on even when they were supposed to be off.  So, I need a new battery (would have needed a new one by winter anyways, but, you know, money), terminals for the battery because the positive terminal is corroded to shit due to the battery being old, and a circuit tester.  So over 50 bucks of supplies.  Then, I need to strip the wires connecting to the current terminals, affix the new terminals, install the battery, and begin testing to see where the short is coming from.  Once I figure out which circuit contains the short, then I need to trace the wire to the short, which will probably involve pulling out the stereo, the dashboard, and possibly other shit.  Then, i decide if I'm going to cut the wire and affix a connector to protect the ends and crimp them together, a lasting solution, or simply wrap the short in electrical tape.  Oh, and doing this all during 90+ degree weather, because apparently every goddamn day this week it is going to be hot and fucking humid.

Now, I don't know much about cars, just stuff I've randomly learned by witnessing things that have gone wrong with my vehicles.  But, I know a moderate amount of stuff about electronics, and because this is a purely electrical issue.  So at least it should be doable without having to go to a goddamn mechanic.  Unless you're my dad, who has offered to pay to have me take my car in.  Except that I don't want to waste his money when I can fix it, it'll just be a pain in the ass.  Besides, i have a shit load of fucking free time anyway.  No one will notice if I decide to work on my car all afternoon instead of sit on my ass.

Aside from the car trouble, I've been thinking of my radical idea, and the more I think about it, the better it sounds.  So, I'm going to break it down in its current state, and I'll take any suggestions regarding it.  As some of my blog posts have talked about, I'm a fairly outdoorsy guy.  I canoe, hike, fish, and camp, just not as much as I'd like due to budgetary constraints.  I mean, I applied for a job with the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources that would involve me spending the majority of my time outside in state parks and such.  The idea, is a wilderness sabbatical, and I've found the place to do such a thing.  In Northern Wisconsin exists the Chequamegon-Nicolet national forests,  which cover over 1.5 million acres.  Sections of the National forest are split up across Northern Wisconsin.  Specifically though, there are five wilderness areas within it's borders, at 44,000 acres total.  I'm looking at Whisker Lake Wilderness area.  The second largest wilderness area, it's not as remote as the largest, Headwaters, which would be a little much according to the map, due in part mostly to the large part of headwaters that is swamp forest and bogs.  Which would be a pain in the ass to trek through.  So I'm picking Whisker Lake.  Because the most beautiful thing about Chequamegon-Nicolet is that camping in the wilderness areas is fucking FREE!  I just need to throw down like five dollars to park my car, assuming it works, and head out into the wilderness.  I have pretty much all the equipment I'll need already, just need gas money to get up there and back (like a four and a half hour drive) and money for food to bring in with me, because my foraging skills aren't what they used to be.  Even then, I'll be rolling cheap ass food, mostly things like rice and oatmeal.  Plus, I can fish for some food as well.  Now, I can camp in the area for two weeks, but I figure that would be pushing it a little bit, so I'm thinking about a week.  Just enough time to forget all my shit, commune with nature, and relax and enjoy myself.  So, by the end of the week I'll be ordering the full-size map from the forest service station, so I don't leave things up to chance.  I'm not feeling incredibly balls-to-the-wall for this now, otherwise all I'd take would be bare essentials, create my own shelter, and Bear Grylls the shit out of the Northwoods.  But, that would be a little too much.  Unless the world demands I do so.  So there's that.  All I need is a working car, and some money, and this is what I'm going to do.  Thoughts?

Here's Porcupine Tree with "Trains"

I Always Wanted to be a Rock Star

Truth.  I've always wanted to be an awesome musician.  As a teenager I routinely pretended I was such, taking my cheap guitars and pretend playing for an pretend audience.  But I didn't put the work in until college in my guitar, but I was awesome at singing.  Singing was my thing.  My talent, my skill.  Senior year of high school, we put on a production of Les Miserables.  I was Jean Valjean.  Probably the best moment of high school, and it came like 3 months before the end.  Then again, story of my high school, but that's not what I'm talking about right now.

I became mediocre guitarist during college because I gravitated away from singing.  Smoking and screaming took their tole.  I can still belt and my voice is still decent, but the range is off and I lack the sustain I had before.  But, being a mediocre guitarist in a college of 12,000 people is a dime a fucking dozen.  But, who gives a shit? I was playing and it was a good time.  And i hooked up with some friends who were better instrumentalists than I was.  And we played together.  Kind of Post-Hardcore/Noise Rock thing.  Did a few shows, tried a disastrous recording, and called it quits because my bandmates started to graduate.  The Drummer and I started up a Sludge Metal band that played a handful of mostly basement shows to tiny crowds, he graduated, and we called it quits.  I graduated, and moved home.

So today, i was rummaging through some stuff in the wake of the mouse fiasco, and found where I put my guitar.  Not my original show guitar, which was a Jackson Dinky upgraded with EMG Humbuckers, because I snapped the neck of it during a show.  A 400 dollar guitar, bought for 200, sold for 250, even though it was broken.  This was my not as good replacement, a Dean Vendetta, but with the EMGs that I bought for the Jackson.  Ok, so I hadn't played any dedicated guitar in about a year.  Just fiddled with it sometimes.  I found my practice amp and a couple of my pedals.  And I debated selling my stuff.  But instead, I plugged in my studio headphones and played.  And it felt good.  Sounded like shit, but felt good.  Just strumming away, fucking up chords i half remember and trying to play songs I mostly forgot.  Over this weekend, I have a new mission: to find the notebook containing every lyric and riff and song idea i have ever written down.  Then, I may have to relearn them all, until I get bored.

So, I'm going to eat dinner, dick around, and then go see the new Harry Potter movie with a group of ladies.  Nerdy, I know, but there will be like 5 single females I'm going with, and ladies love that scarred up kid wizard.  Then, I shall Cry Havoc, and let slip the dogs of war.

Here's the Jesus Lizard, because my band sounded vaguely like this, and we covered this song once:

If you give a mouse a cookie...

It'll get all up in your shit.  Wanted!

One of these bastards is rolling around my basement right now.  Debating how to deal with it.  He has become crafty.  Attempted to take a broom to it, but it has evaded that.  Began throwing things at it as it ran around, but it has hidden itself.  It's learning.  And as I lay on my futon, i feel like its crawling on me, even though I know it is not nearly ballsy enough for that.  My dad is going to pick up either poison or a trap tomorrow, so we'll see how this plays out.  Your days are numbered.  I'm sick of these motherfucking mice in my motherfucking basement.

Sorry for the Snakes on a Plane reference.  It crossed the line

Well, I may be thoroughly boned

I'm on a countdown to being broke.  I've got about 120 dollars in my bank accounts, 25 bucks in cash, and a change jar that has an indeterminate amount of money in it, but not exceeding 30 dollars (unless I'm lucky, and it turns out to be mostly silver).  I've spent the last several weeks doing yard work for my grandmother, who pays me between 30 and 40 a week, depending on what needs to get done.  It's been a year since I quit my temp job at a shitty chemical factory and started trying to find something that I wanted to do or something I could turn into a career.  It's been 6 months since I started just looking for a job that wasn't completely terrible.  Now, I've got no other options, it seems like.  It's time to suck it up, and just get a job, which now, could include retail, and *sigh* food service.  Being poor sucks, and I can't wait for my almost dream job with the Department of Natural Resources.  Fuck me.  The dream done died. 


For Now.  But, it can, and will, rise, like a phoenix from the ashes of reality.  I refuse to give in to society, and what it wants and expects from me.  I am my own man.  I am in control of my own life.  So I may have to piss part of my life away with a fucking shitty job.  That just means the remaining parts have to kick more ass than a drunken gaucho.  And so, the inevitable has happened.  Now, decisions must be made.

I have begun trying to tame the flabby man-child that is my physical self.  Which means that now I need to re-sharpen my mind.  I have amped up recreational reading again, and have resumed writing.  But, I lack perspective.  And I'm debating something radical.  Something crazy.  Something that may take all of my cunning.  Something that will require money, and planning, and possibly hallucinogens.  Details to arrive soon, once I hash everything out to the core.

Finally, my corner of the interwebs has expanded with a few more followers.  Thanks for adding, I believe i reciprocated in kind, and I hope you keep reading, because I plan on doing the same.  Slowly, my blog expands.  But it's not about the quantity of followers, it's the quality.  And I think I have the best quality of followers anyone can ask for.

Here's some more music, because it's been a running trend.  Today, it is one of the Midwestern United States's greatest exports

Extra! Extra! Local bands kick ass at live show!

It's true. Decided to head to a show today, despite my dwindling funds. Met up with a guy I haven't seen in like seven years. Was strange. Good time though. Knocked back a few, hung out with some cool bands, specifically with members who were really psyched that people showed up, due to it being 4th of July weekend. But here are the bands:

I am Dragon

The Skintones (Quality isn't the greatest, it's a live video)




Also, because this came up in conversation tonight, I fucking hate Owl City. Not solely based on there name. Owl's don't have fucking cities, goddamn it. They're not people